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Joke of the Day

"Hello? Yes, this is the chair store calling, are you sitting down? No? well"

"What do you call a Black man that walks by a Cop? A Pencil cause he's full of lead!"

"A man has been arrested after a bungled attempted at the theft of a combine harvester, during which he fell into the working parts of the machine. Police expect him to be bailed tomorrow."

"How do they separate the men from the boys in the navy? With a crowbar."

"How is masturbation and brain damage similar? A few strokes and there's no going back."

"Life is like an asshole. Sometimes you don't get what you expect out of it."

"What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men? 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!"

"What would have happened if Alexander Fleming met Euler? They would have discovered Penicil(e^(x))"

"Every time someone says, ""at least it's a dry heat,"" I want to stab them with a box cutter. *at least it's a short knife."

"What do you mean I've had enough to drink?!! Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost."