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Joke of the Day
"Incontinence Hotline Could you hold, please?"
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"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside!"
"""Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?"" I mumbled into the tv remote."
"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha."
"My kids had a shirt made for me that says 'father of the year 2014 quarter finalist'."
"What did one bridge say to another? ""Fuck you"" (They were arch enemies)"
"She can't leave if you're wearing all of her clothes."
"When you feel sad When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, ""damn I am really so cute"" u will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit..... Coz liars go to hell !!!!"
"Jaden Smith goes into the bar gain bin at Costco"
"What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent."