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Joke of the Day

"Christmas with the family While I greatly enjoy the presence of their company, I prefer the company of their presents."

"I threw my cat a surprise party. Long story short, I need 30 stitches and learned I should never scream 'SURPRISE' directly in my cat's face"

"Why were the bakers hands brown? Because he was kneading a shite"

"Why couldn't the hippie be saved from drowning? He was too far out man."

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Because he's back in town looking for you."

"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead."

"Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot."

"I can't find a shark website.... That's cos you're dum dum dum dum dum dum dumb......"

"What's the difference between a leper and a tree? A tree has limbs."

"Why did Nobelium's car got towed away? He parked at a *No* parking!"