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Joke of the Day

"Why did the clothing store close? The employees where slacking off."

"Why can't Oedipus swear? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth."

"I told my BF I dreamt he got me a ring for my birthday. Later, I found a wrapped box from him, with a book entitled ""the meaning of dreams""."

"Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer? He's already got a Thor Axe."

"How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence?"

"You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies."

"My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me."

"Guy: I don't deserve you. Girl: Awwwww...you're so sweet... Guy: I don't mean that in a good way."

"60 Minutes would be a better show if they played that ticking noise the entire time."

"A psychic midget broke out of prison The official police report warned of a small medium at large."