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Joke of the Day

"When is a door not a door When it's ajar"

"Why don't blind people go bungee jumping? Cause it scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"What do pizzas and blow jobs have in common... Even when there a bit shit, there still pretty fucking good."

"How can you tell if you're being persecuted by agnostics? You come home to find a question mark burned into your lawn."

"I hate my new hair cut. Hopefully it will grow on me."

"How Pokemon go came to be Customers: ""Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?"" Niantic: ""147 Pokemon? You want to have 145 Pokemon?! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon?!"""

"How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the dashboard."

"This morning I saw a homeless guy talking to his shadow... Does that mean six more weeks of recession?"

"Imagine Iron Man having an iron deficiency That would be ironic."

"""I see,"" said the blind man, pissing into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""