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Joke of the Day

"A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Their lack of faith due to God forsaking mankind has driven them to alcoholism."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"I texted my girlfriend Ruth last night to let her know she was dumped ... I wanted to be ruthless"

"How do we know Jesus was a man? We've had to wait 2,000 years for his second coming."

"Deck the halls. Kick the windows. Strike the doors. Pummel the chandeliers. Clog the toilets. You will defeat this house."

"[Crossword] 7 across) Person you work with, 9 letters COWORKER 21 down) Person you hate, 9 letters COWORKER"

"Just got out of the shower and realized I forgot to wash my butthole. Oh well, there's always next Sunday."

"Baby, you're a firework: You hold my interest for about 15 minutes and scare the shit out of my dog."

"GOD: [reviewing solar system] hmm... i'll give it 5 stars EARTH: [imediately starts screamig due to masive gravitational pull of 4 new stars]"

"What do you call a fat person with Tally marks on their stomach? A tally tubby."