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Joke of the Day

"What do calculators do when they love each other? They multiply!"

"How do you get Lady Gaga to leave you alone? You Poke-r Face."

"I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president? A son Bern"

"What do you call two crows standing side by side? Attempted murder."

"What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep."

"That chick really knocked my socks off. And I had just finished folding and stacking them, too. Bitch."

"Him: your account was stolen! Me: My twitter account? Him: no your bank account! *sigh* Me: thanks God!"

"How many NYPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"Wife: ""If I die first, I want you to remarry."" Me: ""Wow. Do you really hate me that much?"""