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Joke of the Day
"What's better than getting silver at the special olympics? Not being retarded."
Next Joke
"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."
"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top... It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."
"A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, ""I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."""
"""Why did you leave your last job?"" -I had a typo in a tweet. ""Mistakes happen!"" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. ""Thanks for coming in. Bye"""
"Mom asked if I wanted to race toy cars with my neighbor Chucky. I responded, ""Nah, that's child's play."""
"Fuck children, robots are the future"
"I just found out that I missed a test on stolen flags last week. My teacher had it flagged as missing."
"The most important lesson I learned from watching The Muppet Show is when cooking meth always test your product on the drummer of the band"
"*puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt"