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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a bunch of happy Seahawks fans after the Super Bowl? Haitians"
Next Joke
"[robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going"
"What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot."
"I want this election to be over so badly you'd think it was a friend's play."
"Let me tell you why going outside is not safe. Because chances are after a few days you end up retweeting a joke about yourself."
"David Sedaris on Willie Nelson What's the last thing you want to hear when giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""
"I don't think it's correct to call them grammar Nazis anymore... They seem to prefer the label ""alt-write"" nowadays."
"White people are only thinking about one of 5 things at any given moment: 1. skiing 2. sadness 3. edamame 4. revenge 5. Greek yogurt."
"McCain Will Buy Houses From Needy Owners Of Beachfront Mansions- ""If The Price Is Right"""
"What do you call a bee that gets engaged? A Beyonce."