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Joke of the Day

"""Will this ever feel less awkward?"" - whoever is waking up beside Michael Cera right now"

"I am aware that smoking will kill me, please explain to me again how you'll live forever"

"What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off."

"Q: What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp? A: A back-handed compliment."

"How to kill your wife without consequences. Hah. Made you look."

"Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend? He was a boar."

"I get so pissed off when the 'Dawson's Creek' theme song doesn't suddenly play in the background while I'm having a magical moment."

"I don't have a drinking problem, if anything I'm too damn good at it."

"""What's the difference between sin and shame?"" ""It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out."""

"What do you call a pompous piece of bread? A braguette."