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Joke of the Day

"This actually happened My brother has a lockbox and lost the key, so he said to me ""Zaent, can you pick a lock?"", I replied ""Give me two and I'll pick one."""

Next Joke
 
"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted"
"I was going to post a joke about my poop this morning but it was too corny."
"I hate using a plunger... they work the shit out of me."
"What do you call a dog with wings? Linda McCartney Today's TIL reminded me."
"What does a Syrian pirate say? Allah AkbARRR"
"Me: ""Siri, why am I single?"" Siri: *opens front face camera*"
"Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog."
"I looked at the calendar and thought, ""It's been one of those days today."""
"Don't do suicide, kids! You'll kill yourself!"