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Joke of the Day

"I have a bunch of sheep puns....... But they're, pretty Baa^aaaaa^aaaaa^aad."

"I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night ...After 5 glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen."

"I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think... Is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?"

"How can you tell that someone's a vegan? Don't worry; they'll tell you themselves."

"A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ""doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, ""I know you can't, I've cut off your arms!"""

"I wish to die peaceful and in sleep like my grandfather and not screaming and afraid like passengers in his bus."

"People are so unreliable Waited in all day for someone to come and fix my broken doorbell, but they never turned up."

"Duck Jokes What do you call a duck addicted to crack? A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack? Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car? His windshield was quacked."

"The hardest part of having sex again after you have recently been widowed is.... Gettin there before the rigor mortis sets in."

"Went to see my doctor and he told i was going to have to stop masturbating I asked why and he said ""Because im trying to examine you!"""