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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?"

"""Have I made myself clear?"" Said the chameleon as he stood in front of a sheet of glass."

"Scientists have successfully grown vocal chords in a petri dish The results speak for themselves."

"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."

"How do you start a baby shower? Throw it into a wood chipper."

"I'm the kind of person that likes to be honest on April Fools April fools!"

"[wife walks in on me rubbing coconut oil all over my body] What are you doing? ""Uhh, SOMEONE said I don't glisten very well?"""

"I'm texting random phone numbers with ""I just saw your Facebook Status. LOL""!"

"Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper depicts all apostles and Jesus sitting on one side of the table. There must have been a show and karaoke."

"(pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one ""What was your favorite part?"" I'd have to say the Peace"