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Joke of the Day
"Two nuts were walking down a street... One was assaulted"
Next Joke
"Why do farmers put bells on cows? Because their horns dont work!"
"How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs? None. He ""fell""."
"Dear movies, We'll never be upset to the point of throwing expensive jewelry at the bottom of the ocean. Never. Sincerely, Women"
"Just laminated my dad."
"Someone fell asleep next to me on the bus so I'm drawing penises on their forehead. Let this be a warning to all sleepy toddlers out there."
"Dad to kid: ""Connor, eat your food!"" ""Eat your food!"" ""Eat your food!"" ""Eat your food!"" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*"
"Why can't Chinese emperors commit murder? Because it's irregal"
"If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?' "
"I applied for a job with the Brittle Bone Society. I don't have any experience, but I'm prepared to give it a crack."