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Joke of the Day

"My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids."

"Almost arrested for drugs and rape ""I didn't take the drugs, i feed the drugs to the girls than raped them"" -Bill cosby"

"What do you say to a black guy selling drugs? *""Hello, mr. pharmacist.""* What did you think it would be, you racist?"

"I work at an investment firm We got a new CIO to head up the Agriculture/Farm investment team. He reports to the EIEIO."

"Some say Steve Jobs died too young. Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life."

"Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career. *Interception*"

"Why was the Headless Horseman depressed? He could never seem to get ahead in life."

"A Freudian slip... ...is where you say one thing but fuck your mother."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'effusive' ""E-F-F-U-S-I-V-E"" That is correct. What was your name? ""It's Siv"" I know lmao [hi5s other judge]"

"Wife: What's the Harlem shake? Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King?"