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Joke of the Day
"2 lepers playing poker... 1 throws his hand in, the other laughs his head off."
Next Joke
"NSFW Where do you go when you get semen in your eye? Pearle Vision. [Totally a Canadian Joke, my bad for not thinking about that! Pearle Vision is a local Optometry franchise.]"
"Me (getting choked): who called it getting new tires Guy (who is choking me): how are you breathing Me (dying): and not a retirement plan"
"Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes."
"""Ha-ha who me? Oh, I put ketchup on everything!"" CAR SALESMAN: please stop putting ketchup on these Buicks."
"I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture."
"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her."
"A man walked into a bar... don't worry...he was fine he just had a minor bump on his head."
"Just saw the first duckface of Spring."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapuss."