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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Native American so tired? Because he'd been up all night building ATP."

"I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?"

"TIFU by burning my post oops, retoast"

"I really got in touch with my inner self tonight... I'll never buy that cheap toilet paper again!"

"Bloody Good Question How can you ever be late for anything in London? They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town."

"Bought $200 sunglasses. Lost them in 15 minutes. Bought Walmart sunglasses. Had them for 238 years."

"my shower thoughts kept getting deeper and deeper and deeper... then i realized it was because i had the drain-plug in."

"This bartender doesn't know it yet, but she is probably going to make me 36 hours late for work tomorrow."

"I caught my insane ex going through my garbage, but I guess that's what I get for dating a raccoon."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."