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Joke of the Day

"Why did Beethoven love playing low notes. Higher notes weren't worth the the treble."

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, ""It smells fishy around here."""

"Sorry sweetie, but no. Alcohol is not an excuse for being a dirty slut. Nice try though."

"""You lie like a doge!"" I tell my wife. ""So deceit!"" I add. ""Very fraud!"" I mention. ""Much fiction!"" I point out. ""Wow,"" she says."

"What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with? An alarm, you pervert!"

"I was born disabled I couldn't walk, had no hair, couldn't talk, just laid there and shit myself...."

"I'm not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again...."

"What do you do for a living? I herd cattle. Ah, you're a rancher? No, I'm a Zumba instructor."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? He finally woke up."

"What did the duck say to the bartender put it on my bill"