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Joke of the Day

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding. He hasn't opened it yet."

"My son curses like I make love. He has no idea how to do it and someone usually yells at him and tells him to stop before he's finished."

"Do you Karen promise to love and to cherish Mark, always put the toilet paper on the roll over the top, and not leave crumbs in the butter?"

"What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise? The captains log"

"The inventor of distorted mirrors has passed away. His funeral will be held in asymmetry."

"New boss. How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job? Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)"

"There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris."

"What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug? One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro."

"I don't think The Proclaimers realized how far 500 miles really is."

"What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ? The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !"