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Joke of the Day

"So there I was, balls deep in peanut butter, when I thought to myself, ""Peanut Butter is an odd name for a dog."""

"What happened to Ed's girlfriend? Sheeran"

"I was just casually strolling down the street... and suddenly when I looked up, I saw a baseball getting bigger and bigger, and I was wondering why that was. Then it hit me."

"What do you call a well-hung gay man? Fruit by the foot."

"Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google."

"What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace ""liberals"" with pretty much anything."

"What's the worst thing to give a norteno on their birthday? A SURprise party!!"

"The reason women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees The man will start unzipping"

"Poor old lady!! I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today. Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse."

"I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them."