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Joke of the Day

"God: I made a rainbow! Devil: I'm making all the fire alarm batteries die in the middle of the night."

"How many people in Brazil shave? A Brazilian."

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!"

"Server: Would you like another glass of wine? Me: I'm sorry, I don't have time Server: For the wine? Me: No, for silly questions"

"Don't ever date an Aztec woman.. They will rip your god damn heart out."

"I'm a kleptomaniac It's ok though, I'm taking something for it"

"A girl comes home to her mother She walks up to her and says ""Mom, a creep in the park today asked me to give him a blowjob for this beautiful necklace!"""

"Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you'll be deaf by the time you're 20 Me: What"

"50 cent declares bankrupcy... he hasnt got a dollar to his name"

"Eat shit dude! No seriously, it's good for your eyes. You've never seen a dog with glasses have you?"