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Joke of the Day

"A Duck... ...didn't walk into a bar."

"So the US is to send 3000 troops to help combat ebola. Does anyone else get the feeling they don't know what ebola is?"

"[OC] What did Remus Lupin say to Nymphadora Tonks? I'm a-lookin'... And I'm a lycan."

"Never threaten anyone. It spoils the surprise."

"I have decided that I am not a 30 something. I am 29.95, plus shipping and handling."

"A man is applying for the LAPD and the inspector says: ""Got you! You thought this was going to be a repost!"""

"Any salad is a caesar salad if you stab it enough. Repost from r/showerthoughts"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere"

"A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which one judge remarked ""I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."""

"You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog."