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Joke of the Day

"Whenever my dachshund acts up I show him a pack of hotdogs in my fridge and he falls right back into line"

"What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes? No-eyed-deer!"

"It's orange, it says it's an orange, but it's not an orange. What is it? A tangerine with a big mouth."

"I've just been to a concert starring the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra. Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared."

"I believe that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs."

"Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia? Because he was Snowden."

"Why do white peope call a Indians paiutes? Cuz paiutes was a Indians first words and they were like 30yrs old!"

"[x-post from askreddit] Aside from throwing stones, what should a person living in a glass house not do?"

"What do fat people do in the summer? Stink"

"Well... I like to think of it this way if we survived two fantastic 4 movies we could survive Ragnarok and hey we did good job world"