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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't usually fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"Where do you put a black jew? the back of the oven!!!!"

"""Ho, ho, ho!"" -Santa doing a head count"

"My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her. So I hit her over the head with my Xbox."

"[interview at winery] What strengths do you bring to the job? *long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now"

"Ladies, place your heart in the hands of God & he will place it in the hands of a man who he believes deserves it."

"How do you spot a blind man at a nudist colony? It's not hard."

"Two goldfish are in a tank... One said, ""you man the guns, and I'll drive""."

"Engineers To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, some idiots used a glass that's twice as big than necessary."

"When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position ? the four hands (you dirty minds)"