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Joke of the Day

"Having trouble keeping track of which celebrities are alive and which ones are dead? Here, use my Heath ledger."

"What's the easiest way to find a gay West Virginian? All his cousins are male!"

"My wife accused me of being immature... ...so I told her to get out of my fort."

"I just invented a new catch phrase What's yer Rush Limbaugh? Get back to me immediately and tell me if you love it or just like it."

"A friend of ours is practicing baking apple pies. She brings them over to our house and later asks us how we liked it. I tell her ""You need more practice."""

"[Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day."

"What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off.(NSFW)"

"""Jesus honey, I don't know. How about a letter, a time of day, and something really Indian"" - M. Night Shyamalan's parents' naming process"

"Niantic title"

"I saw a magician driving through my neighborhood, and then he turned into a driveway."