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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, hearing, ""Wow, you are really getting heavy"" used to make me beam with satisfaction..... But now I'm 35 and weigh 300 pounds, that shit has totally lost its appeal."

"A dog, a blonde, a rabbi, a priest, a nun, Helen Keller, a black guy, and a horse walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""what's this, some kind of joke?"""

"Where do the Sith go shopping? The Darth Mall."

"""Nice place!"" Mmmehh ""Hungry?"" Mmmehh ""You look nice."" Mmmehh ""DO I EVEN MAKE YOU HAPPY?!?"" Mmmehh ""Mom told me not to date a goat."""

"What if Stephen Hawking Is the real Slim Shady but he can't stand up"

"Mother Banana: Why didn't you go to school today? Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well."

"How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb??"

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? alien vs predator"

"When a bird poops on you, it's also peeing on you, because they do both at the same time. So remember: you're a TOTAL bird toilet."

"What do you call a camel with no humps? Humpfree! :P"