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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, hearing, ""Wow, you are really getting heavy"" used to make me beam with satisfaction..... But now I'm 35 and weigh 300 pounds, that shit has totally lost its appeal."

"Heard a good joke about Hillary Clinton's email scandal TOP SECRET"

"I like to make a guy feel welcome in the morning by surrounding him with stuffed animals while he sleeps."

"Jesus is really mad at me, and I don't know why. I even said have a good friday!"

"What do you call a pig that's a lumber jack? Well you call him porkchop"

"Happy Fathers Day! Me: Happy Fathers Day! Pop: Thanks! Me: I'll call you later. Pop: Don't call me later, call me Dad :') ..."

"A recent report shows that Gangs are now using dogs instead of knives, I tried this. My toast was very hairy"

"Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it."

"How to play a pokemon game Buy a $250 Pokemon machine ( 3DS )"

"My friend has a thing for sinking ships They go down quicker."