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Joke of the Day

"A White House aide tells Donald Trump that one hundred people will attend his next event. ""A hundred thousand people?"" Trump asks, ""Do we even have enough room for 1.5 million people?"""

"Squishing breasts an blasting them with radiation to cancer prevention is like... Sticking a Molotov cocktail up your butt and spraying sparks at it for prostate health."

"Did you hear the one about the man with a big procrastination problem? Eh, I'll tell you later."

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"If it takes 150 yards of stewed tripe to make a pair of leather britches for a bull, how long does it take for a double breasted cockroach to climb a bar of soft soap? You tell me and we'll both know."

"Actual men and women are extinct. Too many insecure, narcissistic, attention seeking shit lords roam this earth and I want to vomit."

"Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I'm ""the one,"" but isn't talking to a police officer."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis"

"The devil and a lawyer are having a conversation The devil says, ""I will give you the ability to win every case you get, in exchange for your soul."" The lawyer replies, ""Okay, what's the catch?"""

"My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt"