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Joke of the Day

"Quick! What's protocol for when he opens my car door for me and just shy of 7,000 Sonic straw wrappers fall out?"

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods."

"Jamie asked Tyrion [GOT SPOILERS] Why did you kill our dad? &nbsp; Tyrion: \_()_/ , everything happens for a treason."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I MEANT LADDER."

"McDonald's sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom."

"I hate being bi-polar... It's awesome!"

"What do you call a group of singing killer whales? An orca-stra."

"What song to snakes like to sing ? Viva Aspana !"

"Why do black people have white palms? There is little bit of good in all of us. p.s. not racist, my shadow is black."

"I like the pink cans of mace because looking adorable while preventing rape is very important to me."