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Joke of the Day

"I didn't get far in Mario. I thought the guy floating on the cloud was God so I just accepted it when he threw shit at me"

"Did you know Chewbacca got a girl pregnant the first time he had sex It was a Wookie mistake"

"A man was on an escalator.. When all of a sudden it went very fast. He arrived at the top, turned around and said.. ""well that escalated quickly""."

"Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car."

"I was going to make a gay joke... ...butt fuck it."

"Why was the dolphin depressed? He felt he had no porpoise in life"

"A lawyer is offered two cases... He can either defend a rapist or defend a burglar. He says: ""I'll defend the rapist, I love when people get fucked."""

"U ever squeeze out a turd so big that it feels like u traveled through time once it's out? anyway forgive me father for i have sinned"

"What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !"

"Job Interview I was at a job interview and the interviewer asks ""where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" I reply ""sorry, I don't have 2020 vision."""