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Joke of the Day

"Dog Walking Business Idea: 1. Train every dog to walk another dog. 2. Put the dogs in a dog walking circle. 3. GO TO A MOVIE!"

"I went to Africa recently... ...and I saw that they used Co2 as fuel instead of petrol or diesel. I couldn't believe it and I exclaimed, ""Madagascar!"""

"What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard? Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go."

"Got a couple of real nice piles of dog shit on your lawn there. Sure would be a shame if something was to... you know, ""happen"" to them."

"Some people are glistening beacons of nope."

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese phone. Wing wing, hallo?"

"I have a weird fungal infection on my foot... I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me."

"What's the hardest part about a fat nun's job? Getting into the habit"

"It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my brother sleeps on his back, my ex sleeps with everybody... that sorta thing."

"What Moby Dick's fathers name? Papa Boner"