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Joke of the Day

"I'm so sleepy I feel like I can sleep through to next year"

"Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much."

"Did you hear One Direction is breaking up? They're heading separate ways."

"Yeah, conservatives. I will marry a dog. I'll marry 12 dogs. I'm a dog mormon now."

"Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get off their beds."

"What did Adele say when asked where her dog is? Groomer has it"

"My new haircut is really starting to grow on me"

"What do you call a fat Mexican? A spic with span."

"Why are there no suicide books on librarys? because those who take them never bring them back."

"Came up with a joke that does not refer to sex, dildos, blonds, blacks, cocks, gays or even Trump. But this isn't it."