222004

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me for my obsession with touching pasta. I'm feeling cannelloni right now."

"The key to a successful weight loss program is a broken jaw I'd guess."

"My grandpa told me his secret of how he would pick up Jewish girls in Auschwitz so easily. He used a broom & dustpan."

"I heard that Yoga class was a great place to meet women So I went every day for three months. Bad news is I didn't meet a girl. Good news is I can now give myself a blowjob."

"Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego... Inflated."

"George Bush and his son like to refer to each other as ""41"" and ""43."" I don't know why they'd be so proud of IQ's that low."

"[Breaking] Muslim terrorists have crashed a speedboat full of explosives into the base of the Hoover Dam... Police suspect this might be the first attack in a month long operation named Ramadam."

"What is ISIS's favorite mathematical operation? Square Root. Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized."

"There was a guy at the basketball court He tried to make a shot in the fog. He mist."

"A man walks into a sperm bank, The lady at the desk says, ""Get a load of this guy."""