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Joke of the Day

"My maths teacher is like a line that touches a point on a curve He goes on a tangent but he always gets to the point."

"What do you get when you burn down Woolworths? Coles."

"Hispanic magician: ""I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos"" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres"

"You're nice, cute & single? Can you introduce me to your friend who looks like he'd never return my texts? Yeah the one with the girlfriend."

"What's the speed limit of sex? 68, because if you go 69 you'll flip over and eat it."

"What do you call people who worship paper bags? Sack religious"

"What do you call a deer... without eyes? No eye deer. without eyes or legs? Still no eye deer. without eyes, legs, or genitalia? Still no fucking eye deer."

"Farmer What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor"

"Who makes coffee for the U.N.? The French Press Secretary!"

"In honor of Columbus Day I'm going to drive around until I get lost then make myself at home in the first clearly inhabited house I find"