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Joke of the Day
"Want to talk about rape? No? That's the spirit."
Next Joke
"My least favorite branch of the military is the Girl Scouts, they can't fight for shit."
"How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up? He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)"
"If okcupid is all that great, then why would you need a 3 or 6 month subscription ?"
"I'm at the phase of Christmas where I'm looking at stuff in my house and going ""I could just wrap that."""
"If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck."
"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."
"You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a ""clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup"" kind of morning."
"Cuddled up to my girlfriend last night, she said, ""Aw you finally chose me over Facebook!"" I just didn't have the heart to tell her my battery just died."
"What do call a bunch of white people on a bench? The NBA"