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Joke of the Day

"the Bible says ""If a man is to lay with another man he should be stoned."" in my experience it helps"

"Next time my 5 y/o says ""Daddy, guess what?"", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years."

"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four, it'd be called a chicken sedan."

"A deer walked out of a gay bar and said... I just blew ten bucks in there!"

"The only person I want to see do a Harlem Shake video is Michael J. Fox."

"I tried to get into the knife sharpening academy I didn't make the cut."

"The blind soccer world cup... ... where there's no 'eye' in 'team'"

"Monk at the Dentist Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication."

"Babies are like Polaroid pictures. They develop quicker when you shake them."

"My psychic is a talented blind woman. She has a fifth sense."