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Joke of the Day
"How do you catch a rabbit? Hide behind a tree and make carrot sounds."
Next Joke
"Never have sex before 20... It can be difficult to perform in front of an audience."
"Maybe the cure for cancer is leaving chocolate pudding cups in my fridge for more than 24 hours. We'll never know."
"Micky Mouse is in divorce court The judge says, ""So you, uh, want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"" And Mickey says, ""Um, no, I think what you heard me say is that she's fucking Goofy!"""
"What's the difference between a toilet and a sink? Titanic didn't toilet."
"""Seriously? No one has ANY other suggestions??"" - Guy at the meeting to name Siemens Mattress Company"
"*texting with girls* Her: I <3 you Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you're less than 3"
"""Hey man, he's not worth it. He's not worth it,"" my friends say as they drag me away from a very hard to open jar of pickles"
"What's a... pederast? Shut the fuck up, Donny"
"I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground."