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Joke of the Day

"Never have sex before 20... It can be difficult to perform in front of an audience."

"Some people should be recalled."

"What's a python's favourite pop group ? Squeeze !"

"Why did everyone hate the window? He was a pane in the glass! Credit: 12 year old me"

"Have you ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? No? Most likely because it never came out."

"Yes it was my birthday. I'm going to start lying about my age, but say I'm older so people say how good I look for 47."

"If I eat lots of preservatives, won't I live longer? No, but you will have a longer shelf life."

"What do you get when you cross an onion and a donkey? Most times you get an onion with a tail. But every once in a while you get a piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye."

"You know that schizophrenic hobo that has nonsensical conversations with himself? That's Twitter in real life."

"What is a mosquito's favourite sport ? Skin-diving !"