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Joke of the Day

"George Michael walks into a bar... The barman says, ""George, you've got chocolate on your shirt!"". ""I know,"" replies George, ""It was a Careless Wispa."""

"Is it okay to not like a certain race? My friends want me to run a 10k with them, but I want to run a 5k."

"What is Santa's favorite band? Slayer."

"Don't ask God to cure cancer & world poverty. He's too busy finding you a parking space & fixing the weather for your barbecue."

"What do you call a Russian airliner that goes down over Egypt? Karma."

"A man walks into a Japanese bar... he wants a vodka, so he walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a Stoli the bartended replies, ""Once upon a time..."""

"Why did the jellyroll? He saw the apple turnover."

"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black. P.S.: Sorry if repost"

"did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

"First monster: That pretty girl over there just rolled her eyes at me. Second monster: Well you'd better roll them back to her she might need them."