221576

Joke of the Day

"[Writing Silence of the Lambs] Anyone have an idea for the cannibal's name? Jim: Hannibal? Anyone? Jim: Hannibal Anyone other than Jim?"

"There was an old man from Peru... whose limericks all end on line two."

"What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend? ""IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"""

"What do you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster? A Nobel Prize"

"Four out of five dentists recommend brushing to deal with plaque. The other one recommends attaching a lion head to it."

"I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me."

"""Hey bro shotgun this beer"" No I don't drink ""You wanna be cool don't you?"" I don't drink ""C'mon NERD!"" Grandma PLEASE stop"

"I don't understand interventions. What's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?"

"A man walks into a bar The man is Donald Trump. He orders a drink and leaves a few minutes later. The joke is that you thought this one wasn't going to be political"

"What's the best way to turn a pussy into a dick? Give it a badge."