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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about banging a girl with a cold heart? The rest of her is cold too."

"Why are hipsters such great assassins? Because they hide the bodies in places no one has ever heard of."

"What's a kidnapper's favorite kind of shoes? White Vans"

"You know why men die earlier than women? Because we WANT to!"

"Say what you want about North Korea, but... something something /r/Pyongyang"

"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."

"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb Then I realized that my life was a joke..."

"Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!"

"Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman? It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)"

"What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ? Bicycle petals !"