221489

Joke of the Day

"My friend was having trouble with girls, so I told him there's plenty fish in the sea He's since been charged with beastiality."

"Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States."

"4-year-old: Can we have Oreos for dinner? Me: Are you crazy? That'd be terrible for you. 4: Mom's not home. Me: *eats Oreos for dinner*"

"What do you call a Jew that can fly? Smoke"

"""I sit on my ass looking at the web all day."" a spider"

"What do you call a hollow dachshund? Holloween. (*Please don't report me)"

"One day in the Kwik-E-Mart A customer asked ""could you give me two bags, Apu?"" but Apu couldn't give two shits."

"What's a pickup artist's favorite breakfast? Steak and negs. In shame and solitude"

"If isis gets bombed They'll be called waswas"

"Q: What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action? A: An inj-oink-tion."