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Joke of the Day

"California legalized marijuana I guess they had a high voter turnout."

"David Hasselhoff calls his Agent and demands, ""I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."" His Agent says, ""Sure. No hassle."""

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... ...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain."

"A black man walks into a bar... ...with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender exclaims, ""Wow! How exotic! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" Says the parrot."

"Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years."

"""You're not leaving the table until you finish it, young man!"" --termite mom"

"I could've sworn there was less grunting and moaning the last time I put these pants on... Maybe the donut in my mouth muffled it"

"Why do Jews love sandwiches? Because they're not made in ovens."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker? Jesus wants to get fucked for free."

"Where do cheeses go to the bathroom? In a Parma-John."