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Joke of the Day

"My friend compared me to a singular cloud in an otherwise blue summer sky No one wants me around. Which admittedly is pretty great...I had no idea he thought so highly of me."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"[sees woman reading] ""Gone With The Wind? Great book! I love how the *clenches fist* tornado takes Dorothy & Toto to the Land Of Oz."""

"How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Somebody left the plunger in the toilet."

"Your momma's so fat. When she was born, the universe expanded."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp."

"Just saw a magazine cover that said ""Katy Perry is on fire"" so I bought it and they meant it as a metaphor and this whole week is bullshit"

"Yo mama so fat She's a reddit admin"

"What does a virgin eat for breakfast? Has it been that long (Depending on the audience, it may be important to complete with a comedic pause and) ... ... since breakfast?"

"Whoever first said ""No news is good news"" never had their cable & Internet go out for two days"