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Joke of the Day

"Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico? To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!"

"they say each cigarette you smoke takes 7-11 minutes off your life, last year i smoked 11,000 i dont look a day younger"

"A Spanish Magician says he will disappear on the count of three He said Uno Dos Then he disappeared with no tres (say it out loud to understand)"

"Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?"

"When you're checking for murderers in your house, don't just yell out ""hello!"" that gives them the upper hand. Yell, ""YOU AINT SHIT!"""

"Two Blondes Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been upto; ""I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night"" ""Wow - I've never even met that many guys"" replied the other"

"A realistic Applebee's commercial would show a collection of recently divorced dads blankly staring at the bar's televisions."

"HER: Let me know when you get your shit together. ME: So I guess this is goodbye."

"My friend asked me if goldfish suffer from depression i said ""Yes, but very briefly..."""

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"