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Joke of the Day

"Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?"

"How does a crackhead order their whiskey? On the rocks"

"Watching the olympics women beach volleyball first round... There's already been a wrist injury, but I should be ok by tomorrow."

"My doctor said my blood sodium level is apparently too high but I take everything with a grain of salt."

"how many Frenchmen does it take to properly defend Frances borders? No idea, No ones ever tried."

"Doctor, doctor, there's a hairless military strategist on my head! Ah yes, looks like male Patton baldness."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"Apparently they're making a Middle Eastern version of 'The Flintstones'... ...and while Dubai doesn't like it, Abu Dhabi do."

"[in church] ""And Jesus, our saviour, died on the cross for your sins."" [vicar points directly at me & entire congregation collectively nods]"

"*stomps feet during a tantrum, reaches fitbit step goal*"