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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I've got bad teeth foul breath and smelly feet. Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!"

"If I had a dollar for every time I fell for a tweeter instead of a real person, I could pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need."

"What do you call a baby born in a whorehouse? A brothel sprout"

"A zombie walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""Get a life."""

"Saw some kids building sandcastles on the beach so I ran and jumped on one of them. Then I wrecked his sandcastle."

"My sons kidnappers: if u ever want to see your son alive, press 1. Para Espanol marque dos Me: ugh i just want to speak to a real person"

"Rome wasn't built in a day... But it was built in Italy!!"

"Bruno Mars is the best levitating vegetable magician I've ever seen. He can do 24 Carrot Magic in the Air"

"What do you call Wolverine post-op? An x-man."

"Do scientists know how Ebola effects white people yet?"