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Joke of the Day

"THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he speaks in typos ME: EVERYTHING IS JUST FIND BRENDA! THERAPIST: ok maybe we should take 5 ME: food idea"

"I called a dentist.. I: I would like an appointment. Dentist: Sure, what time would you like to come. I: Two thirty."

"What's the objective of Jewish football? To get the quarterback."

"When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that."

"Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?"

"A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife... but a Tiger Wood"

"Me: ""you hang up"" Her: ""no you hang up"" Me: ""no you hang up"" Her: ""no y-"" Jail clerk: ""sir, you only get one phone call."""

"Oldie but goody... What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken"

"What do you call a fake noodle? An Im-pasta"

"What's the best thing about fucking a transsexual? You can reach around the front and you think you went all the way through."