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Joke of the Day

"Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. Two women trying to kill each other over shoes. Brilliant, really."

"What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out"

"Did you hear the one about the man who let a firework off on top of his head? He went out with a bang."

"[pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet... PRODUCER: *yawns*...and its a woman? W: it's a burrito P: holy shit"

"Parenting is great if you want to relive every moment from your childhood when your parents got mad at you - from your parents' perspective."

"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday."

"Well, add 'making a simple phone call' to the list of 'things that give me panic attacks'."

"I have a Pakistani girl friend. Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops."

"Making out with the pharmacist has its percocets..."

"Turns out the Joker has a criminally-insane dog. He's locked up in Barkham Asylum."