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Joke of the Day

"Parenting is great if you want to relive every moment from your childhood when your parents got mad at you - from your parents' perspective."

"What do waiters want most after dinner? The tip!"

"It remains a puzzle . . . It remains a puzzle why a bra is singular and panties are plural."

"Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable."

"What's the difference between an spam and a personal attack? They aren'tt tolerated on thsi subredit"

"Me: *cleans kitchen and does laundry Wife: looks like someone is getting lucky Me: 1 hour of uninterrupted Call of Duty? W: Yes Me: WOOHOO!"

"Joe: Okay so we sneak in one night around February, steal his shoes Obama: Joe Joe: And then dump legos all over the floor"

"What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living? You call 'im Maury. :)"

"What do you call a Chinese fly with no wings? A wok."

"Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth."