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Joke of the Day

"I don't know about you, but I always watch my garage door go all the way down in case a murderer tries to roll in at the last minute."

"Long ago I got my first job as a circumciser. The pay was not much but I collected a lot of tips."

"What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators? He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels."

"There are two cavemen sitting by a fire... One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, ""You like beetles?"" and his friend says, ""No,*CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."""

"Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand."

"Last supper *at the last supper* *Jesus breaks bread* this is my body *pours wine* this is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm just going to stop you right there...."

"Hillary and Donald are out in a rowboat. The boat capsizes. Who get saved? The United States of America"

"I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary... What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous ..."

"Why did Jesus not play FIFA World Cup in 33 ? Because he was suspended ! EDIT : Mistyped title : Why Jesus didn't play in FIFA World Cup in 33 ?"

"How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper."